Things, etc.

In an effort to be appreciative of the little things, which are the only things, here is a short list of happy pieces of today:

1. To the person who went to the coffee shop I frequent every morning, pen in hand, and took the jug labeled "whole milk" and changed it to "whale milk" - thank you. Thank you sincerely for the ridiculous image of a girl with pigtailed red braids, sitting on an overturned tin pail, milking a whale at the bottom of the sea.

2. To the ice cream shop at the corner of Grove and 7th in the West Village - thank you for existing. The life-sized, violently pastel unicorn painted on your glass storefront and the rainbow bubbled words BIG GAY ICE CREAM underneath made me stop and actually guffaw in the middle of the street. The taxis almost creamed me, but a happier end of life moment simply could not be a real thing. The "salty pimp" ice cream cone does, indeed, sound delicious, so I'm glad to still be alive to experience that, at least.

3. Would like to formally thank The Hummus Place, my fav lunch spot, for being so delicious. Particularly the hot sauce! I'd further like to extend my thanks to Gina Golba for being the perfect lunch partner, and always going splitsies when it comes to couscous and falafel. Hummus will never be the same without you. So don't go anywhere. This is an order. And I'm your boss.

4. My couch is awesomely soft, and my dog snores on my feet in a way that is comforting, and for this I am thankful on a regular basis. For every moment she isn't trying to attack someone, or giving me the stink eye while I waste time online, I'm thankful for her from the tip of her tail, up her wire-hair back-mohawky thing, to her strangely red-bearded chin. You're a piece of work, dog of mine. You really are. I dig it.

5. To the person setting off fireworks that sounded like gunshots at 3 a.m., compelling me to shriek "Get down!" when I was already laying flat on my back in bed - fuck you. I am not thankful for you, but I am thankful they weren't really gunshots. I'd like to wheel a canon directly under your window so you can have the pleasure of waking up thinking you're in a civil war battlefield. Let's see how you like that shit, shall we?

That's it. Goodnight, internets.